I’m too small

I feel so small every time I go to share the gospel on campus with KCM outreach every Wednesday. I’m sure the few others who show up feel the weight of the Great Commission. Many of them aren’t afraid to show that they’re uncomfortable and nervous in going out talking to strangers on campus about their religious beliefs or faith. Today it seemed everyone was a little apprehensive about going out. I felt really convicted today. Every time I see students walking around, riding their bikes, talking on their phones, smoking in front of Leavey…I feel a pang of smallness. It is hard for anyone to understand this feeling I have, even other believers…I’m having trouble now writing about it. There were two young black kids skateboarding in front of Trojan Grounds. The nonchalant way they acted toward me troubled me. How was I ever going to be able to reach people so different from me? How do I break into people’s comfort zones and get them to actually think about more than all the work they need to get done tonight or that guy/girl they’ve been eyeing?

I can sit by myself in a random spot on campus and feel disconsolate about how one day many of these people will stand before a holy and just God after they die, with nothing to reconcile them with their Creator. It won’t matter that they drove a BMW, or that they had nice sunglasses, or that they had an iPhone, or that they did community service with their fraternity/sorority, or that they were baptized, or even that they led a small group for a Christian fellowship, or even that they went overseas on a short-term mission trip.

I’m reading what I just wrote and it doesn’t capture the weight of my thoughts.

One response to this post.

  1. You’re not alone. Feel that way too.

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