Single pastors

I know a number of pastors/soon-to-be pastors who are in their late 20s, early 30s and have yet to be married. Some of them pastor at small churches and are so busy taking care of their responsibilities there that they have no time or even desire to go out and meet people. If they attended a conservative seminary, then there weren’t any women in their M.Div. courses, so no chance to meet potential wives. Of all people, these pastors who know what the Bible teaches about marriage, leading a family, and managing a household would feel the most anxiety about finding a wife. They don’t long for companionship merely because they want to please themselves but because in their ministry they need affirmation. It’s hard because many of them live with their parents for lack of money. Mark Driscoll harps a lot on guys who think that they’re men but still live with their parents and don’t have jobs. For a lot of young pastors who have not married, it’s just the reality. Churches are unwilling or unable to support their pastors financially, and it only makes sense to live with parents, especially when they’re a PK and their father is also a pastor of a small church.

Pastors get very lonely. It can only be worse when they’re single. Even though I’m not a pastor, I feel similar to them, because I know well what it’s like. But I’m still so young compared to them. I feel for them because they have such good hearts–it takes a lot of sacrifice to serve in their capacities–and a lot of them are really smart and knowledgeable and humble, yet they are still single. Sometimes I wonder to myself, I love God and I serve the church faithfully and I am mature…shouldn’t a godly woman be attracted to that? But that is reaching into some of my more private emotions, which belong to God in prayer or in a conversation with a brother in Christ rather than a blog.

I’ve wondered about fellowship and how I will be fed after I graduate from college. I’ve told several people about how thankful I am for KCM and the strength it gives me to serve at church. But after KCM it is up to the local church to be my source of spiritual nourishment and fellowship. My only nourishment comes from what I listen to and watch on the Internet. At church, I am the one feeding others. There is so much good stuff out there, but there is no substitute for true, physical fellowship. I used to go to City Presbyterian Church in Long Beach for their 10 am service and then hurry on to church for Bible study. But that won’t work with our current situation since mornings are too busy for me now. Maybe I can find a church that meets in the evenings, but I’m not sure if there are any that meet close to home. Plus, I’m usually tired after church and I like coming home and resting. How will I meet godly women? I’m the oldest person at our church and there are no solid older girls in the ministry. I’m not one to go out a lot. I like staying at home. This is where I have to trust in God. I hope it doesn’t come down to eHarmony.

One response to this post.

  1. lol sam
    you are too awesome man. too awesome

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