Second draft almost there

Last week was incredibly busy. Even at midnight, I was like, dang it, there’s not enough time to do what I want and need to do. My lack of sleep caught up to me Saturday, and I was exhausted after dinner. I had already spent 3 hours working on my personal statement before dinner, so sitting again front of my computer after dinner to work on my sermon was no fun. It was so easy to lose focus and want to do other things. As of this writing, I haven’t done any of my reading that I was supposed to have done for my first day of class nor any of my reading and assignments for my next class, which is October 3. Man. But thank God for Sunday. Thank God for rest. I am ready to tackle this upcoming week and once again put in my hours of work. I was tired by the end of last week but happy that I worked hard, knowing I didn’t waste my time. And to rest after it all is wonderful.

I started my unpaid internship last week. The office is the main headquarters for a bunch of different e-commerce ventures, and all the partners are buddies from a business frat at UCLA. Most of them are in their late 20s. Some are recent grads (c/o 2008, 2009). The first day in the office, they had me and two other female interns (still in college) in their break room to teach us a bit about Internet search engines. At any given time, at least one of them looked like they were going to burst out laughing. For what reason, I had no idea. It was pretty annoying. The guy didn’t seem like he knew what he was talking about. One of the older guys never made eye contact with me as he spoke. They all seemed so…frat guy like. I had to pester my supervisor with questions just so that he’d explain to me what I should expect from the internship. Like many typical Asians, they never tried to make me feel welcome in the office. They just had me sit down at a workstation and do my own work, never asking me about school, my career plans, my interests. The first lunch was pretty retarded. I was the one initiating conversation. It seemed like the only thing the guys could talk about was business.

After a couple days in the office, I’ve been able to talk to them more, ask them how they got to where they are, and how they keep their startups going. It’s admirable, how even though they are all college buddies, they know how to get work done and make money. They are all very smart guys. Several of them have experience in investment banking and finance, a few have graduate degrees from Harvard, and a few are well-spoken and carry themselves well in workplace. In terms of business, they are respectable. There aren’t too many Asian entrepreneurs out there. Most Asian Americans in business go the structured track in banking, finance, or accounting. To see these guys taking the entrepreneurial risk and pooling together their resources and skill sets to help one another out is cool.

But as men, they have not earned my respect. Yeah, they may know how to get work done, but they still don’t seem to have grown up from the college, frat boy lifestyle. The bottle of Jack, the arcade board, and the Maxim magazine in the break room, the “Hot Chicks” folder on the network hard drive (not even kidding). I feel bad for the girls interning there. They must feel uncomfortable when they overhear the guys talking like guys do. One of the guys talks down to his employees like they don’t know what they’re doing. You wonder why none of them are married. One is engaged to be married sometime in the future and has his fiancee working as a secretary in the office. I asked her how long they had been together and she said 7 years. 7 years?! And they haven’t even decided on when they want to get married yet, just sometime next year. “Man,” I thought, “what was he doing the whole time?” Gotta man up and take charge.

So I’m praying for opportunities this week to be salt and light. I’m praying that I will work hard on my personal statement and apps this week. I hope that even though I am busy I will still have time to spend time with friends, to encourage and be encouraged, to grow with and learn from. I hope that we will all do our best this week to redeem our time.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:23-24

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