Archive for October, 2010

Life in a new school

I’ve been hesitant to write lately. It’s mainly because I anticipate not having enough time to fully write a good reflection. Because it seems like a really big update: writing about life now in law school, all my thoughts, all my comparisons, all my concerns, all my desires. Somewhere in the middle of my busy schedule, how could I ever have a quiet time to myself to recall and develop all those thoughts? But then yesterday I realized (yet again), that as with anything important in life, I must make time. There’s got to be a moment when I take a break, when I stop reading and stop typing in OneNote, to just think. Think about my place in all of this. Think about where I’ve been and where I am and where I want to go. I must.

As much as I strive to study for the glory of God, there must be times when I stop running on the treadmill and take a walk in the park. Sometimes all it takes is to start doing it. Starting is the hard part; once I start, I want to finish the job. Once I actually set up camp in the library, it’s easy to start studying. Once I start washing the dishes, it’s easy to keep going until the job is done. Once I start writing, there’s a momentum toward finishing. When I start something important, I want to get it done. This is the hard part of studying in law school. There is always more to study, and it’s hard to know when you’re done.

In a sense, I am only as busy as I want to be. The base reading assigned takes 4-5 hours two days a week and 3-4 hours the other two days. Preparing for class, though, is a totally different thing from preparing for the final exam. Both are important, but only preparation for the final exam is going to matter at the end, because the only thing that determines our grade is the final. Scary? Not to me right now. But because I knew this from the very beginning, I’ve been thinking about how best to be faithful to both ends. And because I am not good at cramming or staying up late, and because reading and briefing take so long, I know that I will need to start very early when it comes to looking at the big picture, trying to find out what I’m supposed to take away from class discussions and digest it in a way that will help me actually know what I’m doing on a law school exam.

In practice, this “extra” studying doesn’t overlap very much with the “assigned” studying required for class. Meaning, there is a certain level of anxiety when it’s 12 or 1 am and I’ve only managed to finish the base reading. Even more so when I’ve struggled with the reading and feel like if I’m called in class I won’t do very well. But I go to sleep because staying up later and getting even less sleep just isn’t doing well for me lately. Been sick 3 times this semester already…

I guess I’ll have to end this update here, since I have to go to class. It’s nice to get something finally written. I’ll have to tackle other thoughts at another time.

Please post a comment if you still read this! I hope you are all well, those whom I haven’t seen in a while.